Prior to pack and move together, I understand the share a flat with my partner as a gigantic step that needed to be considered thoroughly and that could be, potentially, the end of my beloved independence. The news led to many jokes from friends and family. “It ended up sleeping with the TV on”, “no longer can go naked through the House” and a long etcetera. In my head, the moving truck was the synonym of the end of my freedom and, even so, took the step. And with this I learned to be more independent.
Why do I went to live with him if I was afraid? Because because I love him and we wanted to go one step further in our relationship, as I imagine happens to anyone who goes to live as a couple. The fear of change should not be a reason to not do something. The idea is that at the end you compensate, regardless of loss of independence. And it turned out that not only end it compensated, if not that I learned to be more independent of what I have been in my life, and these are the whys.
Create my own space, in my image and likeness
It is all very well talking continuously with your guy by Whatsapp or wanting to do everything together, but occasionally it is necessary to take less, nurture our own needs and think a little (only and exclusively) in you. To do this we must find that fixed and reserved space that, although you may live together, each one is in her own world and its roll.
A picture published by puuung (@puuung1) 28 Mar de 2016 (s) 9:44 PDT
In our case, that takes place after dinner. The infinite scroll of Instagram like while making music on his laptop. To my I like to eat chocolate while I navigate by Asos and I have the Discovery Channel background. “Each crazy with its theme” is the motto of this precious moment. That, although we have a lot in common and do many things together, too We are different people with different interests, hobbies and needs.
At the end of the day, if we spent all the time together, and we have not nourished our personal spaces, we will not have anything new to tell us or which surprise us. In my own experience, a moment of the day “your moment of the day” make help to develop self-esteem and a keep a fun and interesting person, regardless of whether you’re married, single or mediopensionista.
Recreate in my quirks and things that make me different
Until now I had never raised, if it was rare or heap. In my house it was what gave me the win, without stopping me to think if it would be strange to have breakfast cold pizza. And when we decided to move together started to look at all my behaviors with magnifying glass. What would he think if he came home and I was stuck in bed with a movie Tuesday at seven in the evening?
But then we found the two under one roof and it was not as severe. In fact, it was great. He adopted some of my habits and respected those who did not share, and vice versa. Finally and ultimately independence not is “this is what I want, so is how you fit in my life and if not like, out”. Rather the opposite: finding the balance, be flexible and enjoy the different things that your partner brings to your life.
And it was so, enjoying his strange hobbies as I rediscovered and returned to fall in love of the mine. I was aware of how difficult that I bring to our team, but also (and better still) of all good, different and amazing that I bring with me. And that’s a high that you spend making you worship your individualism and the things that make you different.
A picture published by puuung (@puuung1) 17 Oct 2016 (s) 9:02 PDT
Breaking my own roof
Being totally independent supposed to depend only on myself, for good, but also for the bad. This means that I who think my own roof in glass, limited by my fears and the vision that I have of my capabilities. And let’s be honest, one always tends to be underestimated.
However, live with him made me change this perspective and seeing through their eyes instead of mine. And go change! Obviously, someone who wants us to always going to see a much more beautiful, strong and able that ourselves, but was not until we live together that my deep calo 3.0 image. And it is that we know that for something to become a habit it has to be repeated daily.
Thus, with the support and boost of self-esteem which gives you live as a couple I ended up challenging me, wanting to be better and believe me able to get it. I became a larger, more daring and the ceiling before me I put single disappeared with the help of another. And it is that sometimes we need a little push to be independent, and there is nothing wrong with that.
A picture published by puuung (@puuung1) 27 Oct 2016 (s) 8:44 PDT
To this day, I feel stronger and more independent than ever. It seems that in the trust that is built to live as a couple I found the space to be myself in full, asking for what I need, using my voice and sharing this improved version of myself with someone who mola mogollon. Has spoken much of chains and studs that it carries live couples, but not the wings that can jump.